Comments on: You already know how to be a great lover.

By: vewlms

vewlms — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 05:34:28 +0000

Ok Jeffery , I don’t understand about the breathing part? I don’t think you’re talking about what I’m thinking about because I had a really bad experience with breathing with this guy, so I know it could not be what you are talking about, but how do I find out just what you are talking about with the breathing part, will I find it in the books you suggested? Please help me out.

By: Jeffrey Platts

Jeffrey Platts — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 04:24:58 +0000

@Jason: Also good reminders, bro. There are lots of great things that can be explored as ways to get more in tune with your partner. Too many people presume that they should already know what their partner wants and what makes them feel good. Like you say, one simple solution: ASK.

By: Jason Savage

Jason Savage — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 04:08:25 +0000

Connecting with yourself — your wants and desires — and expressing them, may just make you a selfish lover. A taker.

To be a giving lover — the essence of actually pleasing someone other than yourself — the advice may be more practical:

Ask your partner what she likes. Give it to her. Ask her if she liked it. Give it to her again.

And of course, reciprocity means sharing.

By: Scenografia

Scenografia — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 16:13:34 +0000

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By: Guys, open your heart AND your mouth | Jeffrey Platts

Guys, open your heart AND your mouth | Jeffrey Platts — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:45:07 +0000

[...] sharing the bumps in the road. For most women, vulnerability + strength = HOT. If you can connect with your heart before you share your appreciation, you will hit a grand slam. You get turned on every time she [...]

By: Jeffrey Platts

Jeffrey Platts — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 01:38:44 +0000

@Kristin: Thank you! Yeah, eye contact during sex can be vulnerable for both partners. That’s why it’s important to choose partners who you feel safe with and feel comfortable communication with. Have fun practicing!

By: kristin

kristin — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 17:10:45 +0000

Great insight Jeffrey! I have tried the breathing technique with my partner and the sexual connection sure is stronger.

The eye contact is something I am working on. He has no trouble looking straight into my eyes, but I tend to shy away. Like they say “the eyes are the windows to your soul” and maybe I’m trying to protect myself a bit.

By: Jeffrey Platts

Jeffrey Platts — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 22:29:52 +0000

@lifebeginsat30ty: Thank you so much. Hope you find my other posts helpful, too.

@Miss Alpha: Eye contact is hot. And during the bump ‘n grind, even hotter.

@Dating Dufus: Thank you so much for your appreciation!

By: Dating Dufus

Dating Dufus — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 20:52:58 +0000

Hi Jeffrey, I liked your comments on Mike’s blog and then found your site. Thank you for putting the personal/energetic/soul connection back into the story!

I agree with you about the self-help advice, sometimes it can do more harm to the self-esteem than good. In particular I think people in the spiritual community (and it sounds like you are in it) have a tendency to expect– in themselves and others– a continual process of “growth” or “personal development.”

After years of living in an ashrama community I finally realized this can go too far! This constant striving to become a “better you” than the one you are right now can cause you to miss the great you you are already.

I’m excited to read more of your posts, going to do that now!

By: Miss Alpha

Miss Alpha — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 16:13:11 +0000

EYE CONTACT!!!!

Good stuff, man. You’ve become a must-read in my book.